Fall

Happy Birthday to me! The world is getting better!

A great article about a company that is environmentally conscious, worker appreciative and prosperous.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kimberly-freeman-brown/you-say-tomato-i-say-awes_b_755550.html

Our happiness levels can be raised! Genes be damned!

http://news.discovery.com/human/happiness-genes-childhood.html#mkcpgn=rssnws1

How we are actually living in one of the most compassionate times in human history. Go us!

http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main389.shtml

It's been a great half Karinika so far. Looking forward to the next half and all of the Karinika gifts I get to give away!

These lackluster slow times

I've been spoiled by many things in this lifetime: international adventures, a manic sense of spontaneity/serendipity and incredibly supportive parents to name a few. These gifts have given me many things to talk about and many ways with which to define how "special" and "unique" I am. These last few months since finishing my undergrad have been so unsexy and so day-to-day that I think I've been depressed. Very accustomed to the constant demands of school and research once I reached the promised land of graduation and free time I, like many others, didn't know what to do with what I'd wanted once I'd gotten it.

Add to that the irritation I feel at not being "unique" all the time plus no flashy future plans and I cooked up a nice pot of anxiety steeped days. Now as time inches closer and closer to the one scheduled activity I have in the next 365 days (a round trip ticket to Chile for 2.5 months), I have to make the decisions I've been dreading. As I tend to fluctuate between rapid fire decisions and months of dragging my feet, I notice that they are both two sides of the same coin: an intense fear of the decision making process. Aaahhh effin' Libra. :)

Still I'm getting used to the slow pace of working part time, doing yoga, doing early morning boot camps, watching hulu, and trying to get on my bike with these last few nice days of Vermont fall. My ego still rages like hell that I'm not off creating some epic movie-style adventure (or at least acting like it at all times) but I'm tired of trying to act like I'm the shit all the time. It's exhausting...now I understand how it must have been like to be around me during my late teens and early twenties. Whew!

Boy, do I love getting older.

I got a little distracred...

Wow! Being in romantic relationships just throws me for a loop. I am so strong and focused on my own but up comes another ball of energy and flesh...all my cockpit instruments go haywire. Being about two weeks out of it, I can now look back and see how desires meshed, how foggy it became as I faced continual observation by a beloved human being.

At the beginning, it reminded me of long car rides with best friends where everything is so synchronistically magical and the time flies by. At the end, I felt like we were both from different countries with limited use of the others' native tongue, both trying desperately to find a restroom.

If anything, it was a great experience and I'm taking a lot from it. The look in our eyes as we are dressed to the nines, red and black, was worth it all.

Love is every where I see it. JD

Thanks, Tara!

Tara reminded me that I have a blog and that I should keep doing it. Thanks, Tara! I love you and miss you! I'm with you in Germany and you can be as well by checking out www.goingslowly.com. World cycle touring at it's finest.

So things are going really well. I moved in with two good friends from school, have a view of Mt. Mansfield and get to watch the sunset in my home. I love my room. It's cozy filled with pics of friends and inspirational saying. And hot pepper lights. :)

I'm enjoying my man quite a lot. He's affectionate, consistent, funny, a hard worker, and likes taking care of me. What a good guy. I'm very grateful for this experience, the first respectfully mature romantic relationship I've ever had. I'm not used to sharing so much of my life with someone but I'm not half bad at it. Time will tell.

My occasional gripping panics come from the world of job hunting. It's hard not to take it personally as applying for jobs is so similar to dating. You're interested, they're not so interested. They're interested, you're not so interested. They say they're interested but if they were REALLY interested they'd call you back. Ah, well. I'm working triple time to keep the fears of unknown situations at bay and up my happiness. Counting my blessings, the small successes of each day and cuddling. A LOT. :)

Giggle

I met a kind, considerate and hilarious man. He is making space for me and I for him. I'm having a bit of a tricky time with all my familiar rampant fears. So, today I breath and give thanks and space and let time make us what we will be.

PS He's adorable.

Done and done.

I've been working on my research regarding the Alexander Technique and its psychological and physiological effects on aerobic exercise performance in healthy humans (If you don't have over 7 words in your title, it's not scientific enough) for about a year and a half. Today I made my last presentation about it and I am done. Done. Done. Done. Thrilled to be done.

This experience goes in my halls of fame. I get a gold medal in the Being a Responsible Adult Olympics for this one. As cool as it was to do, this specific scientific community and I do not gel nor feed each other academically.

There were times were it took ever sense of responsibility and every bit of my core essence not to quit. And I didn't. I'm pretty sure it was worth it, even with developing mono a few months ago, but only time will tell.

Happy Karina.