Transitions

I'm home for the weekend. Mom's retirement party and my group fitness certification pulled me back to Oakley. I am a solid sort of tired and there is little mind messiness. When it comes, because it always comes, I pull those weeds left and right. I am in a river's full current, almost deafened by the noise and inextricably lead. It's nice, it's good. It feels quiet not to struggle against my life.

Ananda and I went for a field walk yesterday. It was about 80 degrees, bright and sunny, with a nice wind. The rye is growing fast and has shot up to my knees since last weekend. I entered a path unintentionally left by my father in his first attempt to plant the rye. I twirled a piece between my fingers and stride by stride listened to the "shhhhhhhh" of the rye. It bent and blew over itself again and again at the wind's insistence. I suddenly felt a cold drop on my arm, shaking me out of my muscular reverie. Looking up at the sky I noticed a large rain cloud north of the farm. This was a delight for me because one of my favorite things is to be outside when a storm comes. I've been blessed to see two, with one as recently as last month. But this one...it was more like a dance of the weather systems. The rain cloud continued its southward attempt but the sun and wind refused to make way. There I was staring reverently up at the sky feeling the cold drops yet the sun's heat on my face with my ballistically blowing hair and the "shhhhhhhhh"ing of the rye. It was a beautiful five minutes in the weathers' edges with the storm conquering no further southern territory. The north was drenched and we were dry.

When the clouds of my mind come in they fight for my full attention as well; warning me of fears unmanifest and an endless list of "shoulds". In response my sun and wind gently brush by me, bringing me back into my body through my senses. This keeps me still, grounded and I watch. I just watch. Things happen, there is push and pull and I stand in their brushing edges. The rain is on my arms, sun is in my eyes and I listen to the "shhhhhhhhhh".