Karinakah Day 1: Acceptance

I have a reminder on my phone that goes off every day at noon. It simply says, "Music, writing, athletics and Ireland".  It's there to remind me of the things that make me happy and the next non-Chilean place I'd like to visit.

I think of it today for two reasons: 1) I have made no steps towards any of them in a while and 2) It's the first day of Karinaka, my 11 day birthday celebration and the word of the day is "Acceptance".

Acceptance that I am not as ambitious, tidy, fit, rich, well mannered and time efficient as I should be. Acceptance that I haven't forced myself to do the things I enjoy because...I don't feel like doing them. I don't feel like doing a lot of the things I used too.

One of those is judging myself and others. I'm tired of it. Tired of there being a right way to live and of having to wait for everything to be perfect (every dish clean, every email sent, every facade polished) for me to be ok. And I'm tired of judging other people as not being ok because of...whatever. I mean, really, who cares?

This place of non-judging doesn't feel good but it doesn't feel bad.

And here I am doing one of the things I love without even trying.