Karinakah Day 5: Not making problems

If the witch from Hansel and Gretel lived in Lakeview...

Since having my appendix out over a month ago, I've had to work with lesser versions of myself:  Karina 50%, Karina 70% and now Karina 90%.  While the incisions have almost healed completely, my body is still trying to find equilibrium and other health issues have appeared.

For a time I was waiting to feel 100% so that I could live my life again.  But the days were dragging into weeks and there is only so much internet to entertain and Nutella to eat.  Finally I just decided that things were fine, it was fine.  In fact, I'd even stop labeling any challenges as problems and just do what I could.  This is a blow to my perfectionism and thankfully so. 

Today was a day where I could have turned many challenges into problems:  I began the sacrifice of winter accessories to the Gods of Cold by losing one of my mittens within 5 minutes of beginning my day, I could not locate my teachers and carrying my laptop made finding them a test in shoulder strength and patience, at many times during the day I felt extemporaneous and unnecessary, I couldn't seem to speak articulately and was embarrassed by that, physically I couldn't get warm enough, and my body kept reminding me that I was still out of balance.  There were many times I wanted to just dive down that comfortable tunnel of "Screw All This" but, for all of my usual laziness, when it comes to my well being I am beyond disciplined and I kept at it. 

It's hard.  It's hard not turning challenges into problems, pain into suffering.  There were times I couldn't stand it, like I wanted to yell "What is your problem?  Can't you see all these problems?  Problems problems problems!"  But they were just annoyances really and I want to believe that all challenges are that; they don't have to become problems unless I decide to make them so.  So for all the discomfort today, I didn't let it become suffering.  For someone as dramatic as I have been in the past, this is excellent news.